Okee dokee, so what's yer name?
And what's yer e-mail addie?
Plungers! Aren't they wonderful? What do you do with YOURS?
Well, I use it to unblock sinks. Never really thought about doing anything else with it
I stick it up my....you know. Makes me feel all tingly.
I attach it to my unsuspecting victims ears and suck out their brains! FUN!
I wave it about at people, looking menacing
I stick gerbils in the cup bit, then plunger a sink. The gerbil shoots down the plug hole, then gets sucked up again repeatedly! I am evil.
I keep it on my windowsill, so it looks pretty
What on earth possessed you into coming to my little abode?
You nagged me into doing so!
I love you Merv! Coming here makes me feel close to you
You tied me up and held a knife at my throat, i didn't really have much choice!
I smelled your cheese
It was a complete accident, the computer went wrong
I'm a perv, I saw you had PORN as a keyord on my search engine, so I was looking for a bit of wrist exercise
I need punishment. My parents made me come here so I won't be bad again
I felt an overwhelming urge to come here, I was drawn here, fate if you will
I really have no idea
I came here from someone elses link
I'm trying to burn my retena's out so I thought i'd look at your stupid gifs
I'm excessively bored
I am also a Gizzard. Brother.
I wanted to get your mail address so I could send you hate mail
The monkeys made me do it. The monkeys, in my head.
I just made the decision to visit, and BOY do I regret it!
I'm not telling you. I'm being secretive and mysterious. OoOoOooOh
Have you got a homepage you'd like me to have a shufftie at? Stick the addie in if you have:
If you have got one, do you plan on sticking a link to my page?
Do you like cheese?
I love it! Can't get enough of the stuff!
I worship cheese. Cheese is my god
How can someone not like cheese?
Cheese makes me shiver all over, and i start to dribble
Oooh yes, I like to masticate with it, hur hur hur
It's OK I guess
I'm a cheapskate, and I'll eat it if someone pays for it
Cheese brings me out in a spotty rash
Only if it's produced by a leperous goat
Cheese? What's that?
You like cheese, Merv? I didn't know that...maybe you should mention it more
I like to stick it up my nose, but thats all
No, it makes my breath smell funny
Cheese is disgusting, and you are a filthy degenerate
I hate cheese!
I am on a mission to destroy all cheese! KILL KILL KILL, etc.
Not really
I'm not telling you
Why do you care, you freak?
Cheese - what's the best kind?
Baked beans - how d'you eat them?
What did you think of the Merv stories?
I thought they were fab, groovy, and peachy keen!
I want to give you money for letting me see them!
Do you really eat your pet lepers? I'm reporting you to the authorities!
They made my head hurt
I was too scared to read them and I cowered behind the sofa
I started to read them, but got bored and fell asleep
You made my eyeballs melt!
My grandma saw them and had a heart attack. I'm suing!
I think you're a talentless bum
I didn't read them, 'cos I am scum
I didn't read them, 'cos I can't read. I chose this option by guessing.
I didn't read them 'cos I don't like reading stories. Sound's boring.
I didn't read them 'cos some git plungered my eyeballs out!
If you had a pet leper, what would you call him?
Have you signed my guestbook yet?
Yes! I am a good homepage visitor and I felt compelled to sign your guestbook!
Yes, but only 'cos you nagged me into doing so
Um, I meant to, but I am too lazy
I'll do it in a jiffy
You have a guestbook? Well blow me down, I never noticed
Why the hell should I?
No I haven't, and I'm not going to, for I am not nice
I hate you! I won't sign any damn guestbook!
Umm, no
What do you think is the best name for a fish? Name:
What was your favourite part of my page?
The main page
The waffle
The funky menu page with those groovy little arrow thingies
The personal info bit
Your piccies, Merv! I think you're real cute!
Your piccies, Merv! You look so stupid I peed myself!
The Merv stories, of course!
The Merv stories feedback is just soooooo cool, maaaaaan
The IRC link bit
The vortex of doom that does relatively little
The dirty porn link, with sexy Doris
The demon and his wiiiiise words
The space cow with it's enormous intelligence
The wonderfully creative ditto's
The cinema
The opportunity to get my hands on your STUFF
I liked the links bit 'cos it let me escape from this crummy page!
The subliminal bit. It made me like it! What have you done to meeeee????
The guestbook! It's fuuuuuuuny
This questionnaire! It's fuuuuuunny
Teletubbies - should they be given lots of love and attention or hacked into little pieces with a blunt rusty saw?
Do you think I use too many animated gifs? Do the pages take too long to load?
Jaffa cakes - are they cakes or biscuits?
I need more stupid questions to make this page more interesting :o) Got any?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Got any suggestions for me to improve my page?
Which is bigger? (not longer)?
Feel free to spout waffle at me:
Life! Live it, or spend your time doing stupid questionnaires?
Back to the main page? You are scum? You don't want to fill in my questionnaire? Begone then! Go!
