The scrummy menu bit of merv's wonderful page of gizzardry
Lots of Waffle!
My leetle page that lets me talk at you about anything that takes my fancy. One day it might contain interesting stuff, but don't hold your breath. Actually, how can you hold your breath? It would escape through your hands. What a stupid saying. Look! I got around to making my constantly updated gif. Ain't it nice?
The personal stuff
The personal info that is part of most homepages, which normally talks about hobbies and things. How drab i hear you think, but at least mine is in lots of funky garish colours, and I have a whooole paragraph devoted to cheeeeese! Cheese is good.
Piccies!
Uh oh. I have a scanner! Now this page is destined to become stupidly graphic intensive and slow to load! Whoopee! Here's me piccies of me and me buds, done in a hopefully non-too-mind-numbing-way, so oh so many other pages that I seek to humble in their terribleness.
My Ministers page
If you're from the city pubs area of Fortune City and you're after help, this is where ya want to be going. If you're not from Fortune City, you won't have a clue what I'm on about! Hurrah!
The wonderful stories of the Merv!
I know it sounds naff, but it's not. Honest. Go there, you won't regret it, unless you can't read. That would be a bit pointless.
Feedback from my scrummy stories!
People, animals, aliens, puppets, celebrities, and more, give their views on my stories. My faaaaaave page!
The IRC link bit!
Have a shufftie at my Mirc section and me mateys on there...
The Big Black vortex of Doom that does nothing!
The scariest thing you'll ever see, gaze into the terrifying horror that is the big black vortex of doom that sits there and does very little. Not for people who wet themselves easily.
The Dirty PORN link!
I had to get my hit rate up for the page somehow, so have a look at this gorgeous naked female! OooOohH! Surprisingly, one of my most popular options.... Filthy homepage visitors!
The wise words of the evil demon
Now extra evil! Do you dare find out what terrifying message the demon has for YOU?
How to eat a hamster
Why is it that people don't know how to perform this simple and hugely benefitting task? Here, I show you how to gain maximum taste and minimum effort in scoffing those scrummy rodents!
The Cult of Bob
The Cult of Bob is my effort in creating a utopia, a happy friendly group of people, and a manically dangerous cult at the same time. The cult of Bob is growing, we are many, we are all Bob. You WILL join us.
The Immortal words of the Space Cow!
Will you be able to comprehend the enormous magnitude of the intellect that beholds the Space cow?
My Trapdoor page
Trapdoor! Anyone remember that? A brill kids programme from ye olden days when I was a nipper, and it's just suuuch a classic and not-quite-but-should-be-cult-programme! Go there, and learn what TV should be about.
Wonderfully creative dittos
Yes, a scrum-diddly-umptious fest of pointess, yet creative poems, and the chance to show the world your hidden talent at bad rhymes. This is NOT serious poetry or anything brain hurting like that, and there's not one bit of goth poetry! Ain't that pleasant?
Get yer hands on my STUFF!
Ooooh, that sounds DiRtY doesn't it? Could it be a wonderful link to the wonderful world of Merv's big lump of STUFF, or just a boring page where you can download STUFF that I like, and think you should have? Oooh blimey, the suspense eh?
The Cinema
Yay! Bored with all the stupid stuff on the page? Then indulge yourself with a nice bag of popcorn, and snuggle down in an uncomfy seat to watch my film, which isn't exactly in a film format, as that would take up too much webspace. So it's kinda unfilmish, whilst being filmish at the same time. Funky, no?
The big lot of links
Not just a small lot, but a rather big lot of links here folks! How good am I to you?
The questionnaire bit
It's funky, it's peachy, it wants to ask you things about fish, cheese and lepers, as well as the obvious questionnaire whatsits. Fill this in, aswell as the guestbook. It's fun, really. no, i swear. Honest Merv, that's what they call me. Yup.
The hypnotic suggestion page
Thinking of leaving my page to do something else? Don't like my page? Haven't fulfilled your duty as a visitor on my web page to the full? Then go to my hypnotic suggestion page, where i'll MAKE you want to do all these things!
VIEW Gizz's Groovy Guestbook
It's new, looks nicer than ever, you have a funky view option, and it WORKS at last! Whoopee!
SIGN Gizz's Groovy Guestbook
The bit I'm constantly nagging people to sign! SiGn it! SIgN iT siGn iT SIgN IT! It's new, it works, it's too damn small!
The old guestbook
Since the guestbook went KERPUTT, the old guestbook signings are here. Relive those classic jaffa cake debates, and be scared when you see the type of people I attract to my page, then realise you're one of them! Your life will be changed. You'll grow to love lepers and cheese alike and live in harmony with them. Maybe.
Awards and Webrings
Just like loads of the other stuff on this page, the awards and webrings used to be on the front page, and made it horrible to load up! So go have a gander at them here, if you want to be like me, and be in the same webrings and stuff, or want to marvel in awe at my wonderful homepage ability. But if you do, i'll consider you a weirdo.
Back to the index page
Choose this link to go back to the main page, where you can choose to go to this link again! Hurrah! Therapy for bored idiots!
