Ooooooooh yes folks, this is the page you reaaaly didn't want to see!
My poems, along with a few of me girlie friends worse ones (she has the better ones on her page)
right here for your viewing 'pleasure'. If you think you can do better, then bugger off, 'cos that's obvious.
If you'd like to contribute poems of an equally appaling nature, mail them to me or put them in my guestbook, and I'll include
then here for ya, with your name and stuff. Well, on with the joviality:
There's four sections of the page, my stuff, arachne's stuff, other people's stuff (rapidly becoming Powerhous's stuff), and the bit that lets you send yer stuff to me so it can be put on the other peep's stuff section bit. There, all clearly explained.
POEM ABOUT CHEESE
cheese is really tasty
almost as much as honey
but if you stick it up your nose
you'll look a little funny
WOULDN'T IT BE NICE TO HAVE A CHEESE PRODUCING SNOWMAN?
a cheese producing snowman thing
would be a wonderful pet to have
but you'd end up eating so much cheese
you'd be constantly on the lav!
MERV'S ODE TO DRAWERS
drawers are really funky things
for keeping lots of stuff in
and if you stop them getting wet
they'll never rot or nuffin!
ODE TO WHERE MERV KEEPS HIS CHEESE
I've got a secret stash of cheese
i keep it in my hat
so i can gobble all the time
and end up very fat!
ODE TO MY HURTING FOOT
My foot, my foot,
it's on the end of my leg.
Right now it hurts 'cos I have been running around on it for 4 hours.
Ow.
my attempt at bad goth poetry:
I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT DEATH A LOT
Death
Death is black
Death is miserable and cold
When you are dead, worms crawl into your head and eat your brain
Death makes me think about carpets
Carpets are not good for wearing on your head
Hats are better
POEM WRITING AND IT'S EFFECT ON MY EATING-MY-OWN-BRAIN-FETISH
I like this poem writing thing
it makes my brain all sore
i'll have to go and take it out
and eat it cooked, not raw
Arachne's poems
internet cafe's are wunnerful
except for when they close
if they close when ur halfway out
they shut the door on yer nose
dynamite is lovely stuff
good to blow up a bunny
But if you stick it up your nose
It makes your bogies runny
Other peeps' poems
A big thankee to powerhous who's sent in a funky poem, making all mine look cack and pathetic, which I guess they are, so that's alrighty then :o)
Oh mr Smartie you are so divine,
your milk chocolate,
your crispy shell.
Why must you tease me so,
With your looks,
so arousing,
yet so ambiguous,
You wonder why i make this din,
i hear you cry,
'to love a chocolate, its surely a sin'
but yet i know in my heart of hearts
it must be right,
this is an urge
which i simply cannot fight
your beauty astounds me,
your flavour confounds me,
with dreams of you
i can make it through
the torrid night.
Another one from Powerhous, who is rapily making my selection look poop, but it's ok, 'cos he'll nag people to come to my page, to look at his poems, so extra coverage is all fine by meee, as long as they SIGN THE GUESTBOOK!
Reverend Smith,
Why do you mock me so?
You stand at your altar,
your face so aglow.
Pork pies you serve me,
and milky tea,
you never tell me,
what you want me to be.
I read your book,
No sermons i duck,
oh why is your private life
so full of muck?
Hooray! And onother one from Powerhous, on a slightly more acceptably bad level. I need more like this!
Fresh cheese i like,
while ridin my bike,
but a problem i feel,
its quite a big deal,
the cheese strings get caught,
in the spokes of my wheel :)
Ooooooh it was a tough decision as to whether I was going to put this in due to it's high quality, and with this being a bad poems page an all, but, well, it IS about cheese, and i guess i'm a hypocrite, so what the hell! A hyooge cheers ears to reb for this, easily the funkiest cheese peom i've seen so far :o)
Ode to Cheese: A Tale of Woe
�
Oh cheese, oh cheese, I'm on my knees
Before the fridge today
I search in vain, and feel much pain
My cheese has run away!
What could it be, to make him flee
From this, our happy home?
My heart it breaks, for what mistake
Could make my cheddar roam?
I hang my head in fear and dread
And suddenly do spy
Beneath the grill, against his will
My cheese on toast doth lie!
What thief so cruel could break the rule
And steal away my cheese?
Why must I share this foul lair
With persons such as these?
So here I sit, within my pit
And dream of my lost friend
What can I do? I ask of you
This truly is the end.
Sent by Rebecca ([email protected])
Well, what are you waiting for? Send 'em in! let the woooooorld know your talent!
