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The Merv stories
These stories are the true tales of my exciting life that made me the man I am today. You should be warned, some of them contain graphic descriptions of terrifying monsters, and bloody gory actions, �cos I�m like, hard me. I eat cheese. If you are easily offended, you should'nt look at these stories. They will scare you. You�ll poop your pants and have to change your underwear, and if you�re in a public place you�ll be laughed and pointed at by others, who will simultaneously shout
"SMELLY! SMELLY! THAT EASILY OFFENDED PERSON HAS POO IN HIS/HER TROUSERS/SKIRT (etc..)"
Um, so yeah, don�t look at them.
Uh, I mean, DO look at them! They�re good! But only if you reckon you can take it. There�s no nasty swearwords or anything like that though, only horrific (yet somehow exceptionally amusing, y'know, like smacking someone in the face with a frying pan) violence. And you can meet my teapot dwelling miniature donkeys. They�re great. And they like cheese too.
THE DECISION BIT:
You have convinced me Gizzard! Let me see these fabulously scrummy stories!
I am an easily offended wuss. Let me out of here or I�ll scream, hold my breath (is that possible?) and poo my undergarments!