one day whilst sitting at home

i heard a tapping at my letter box

it was a group of nosy pickle merchants

trying to stick their elongated proboscis' through my letter box

in a curious attempt to smell my pet leper

this made me think to myself that my leper was in fact quite gorgeously odious

as pickle merchants have great taste in food

my mouth started watering

i dribbled down my chin

and decided i would eat my leper

but he saw me running towards him with a fork

and he ran

he fled

he burgered off

with him being a leper i could easily have caught him

so i burgered off after my rotting dinner

unfortuately he fell over and crumbled to pieces

then lots of buzzards landed on him and guzzled him up

insane in a ravenous fit of hunger

i trundled off down the road

where i bumped into a large shoal of land dwelling fish

they sang to me

"we're whiting dab and kipper too

if you eat us we'll make you spew"

but i didn't care and i shoved them all down my gob

unfortunately i forgot about the minuscule fire assessment regulators

who were searching for their lost fire engine in my intestines

and the entities of firemen and singing fish combined into a large monster

the fire fighting fish monster popped out of my mouth again

and threatened me harshly

"you did not only eat me, but you lost my fire engine"

he said in a nasty grimacing tone

so i'm going to jump on your head and pull your ears

and he jumped on my head and started pulling my ears

i discovered i had an allergy to fire fighting fish pulling my lobes

and i began sneezing violently

the heat combating aqua dwelling bloke flew off from my noggin

and into a handy mincing machine

which turned it into a bolognaise like substance

i ate the substance and found it was rather tasty

so i set up a manufacturing firm

of fire assessment regulator singing fish bolognaise substitute

and made lots of money

then i bought a new leper and ate him

the end